Its been a long time. and iv been thinking.

everyday we have the choice to change all this, but we dont. it is our lives and they are in our hands. we are given a perfectly good opportunity every passing moment to alter things..and we do not take it? do we really want it THAT much?

well i do. and as from this week i am going to be dedicated to actually getting it. for too long i have said i am going to change and i havnt. well i want this. i want this more than anything. and you girls are amazing. i love you all because you have brought me up from places i didnt know existed..i want to thank you all. if anyone (and i mean anyone atall) needs advice or help or just someone to moan to - come to me. it does not even come close to repaying what you girls have done for me. keep commenting and subbing too! your comments mean so much, its nice to know someone cares what i feel.

love x

intake for yesterday and today

yesterday

b: 2 carrots
l: half piece of grilled salmon my mum gave me.
d: 2 peppers
s: 3 apples - 2 between b&l and 1 between l&d.
e: work out dvd. includes 10 min warm up, 15 min pulsator, 15 resistance trainin, 10 min hardcore abs, 10 min cool down.

today

b: half glass of carrot & apple juice
l: sandwhich - 2 slice wholemeal bread, little bit of light marg & a little bit of 50% reduced fat cheese.

i am such a fucking pig. how could i fuck up and eat that sandwhich. u know i didnt come here to try and get anorexic i came here to help support others who were but for support to help me stick to eating healthy. but after my mum stopped juice fasting (which ment i had to also) i cant ..LET myself eat. i just eat something bad and all of a sudden its like im screaming at myself "u fat, fat bitch". when i look at food i automatically count the calories it has. this thing really has started taking over my life. i think about food atleast 60% of the time. but im scared. i was reading someone elses posts and its made me realise i dont know what il do when i reach 92 pounds. because this is my life now. food food food. its a trap. and a fucking hard trap to get out of. i cant eat dinner tonight. im not allowing myself after my little "sandwhich incident". looks like its gona be a loooong day.. : thinspo : : : : : : : :

look at her legs!!

stay strong - keep commenting& subbing. i love u all x

hey my gals. thanks for all your lovely comments. we really keep eachuther going here, im couting on u. u all make me so strong *smiles*. well i start my juice fast tomoro, my mum has the juicer and everything *ahhhh*. im so excited. i have little more than a month b4 the big day and im so getting my ass into gear. i will be on here alot more i think because im really gona need the support. this is my 1st time doing it, any tips/advice on what to expect? anyways im off to comment, but keep commenting & subbing! i had 5 subs this wk.. keep them coming beauties :o) mwah! i shall leave ya'll with some thinspo..parissss hilton we love u!

stay strong girlies! && remember - keeping commenting & subbing. i need it now more than ever ..x

hey girlees. thanks for the lovely comments&subscriptions =) they keep me going and really brighten up my day. so i got a date that is reasonable. 29th april for my friends bday. i am hoping to lose 1/2 pounds a wk. minimum il lose will be 7 pounds. max il lose is 14 pounds. can i do it? i think so.

i have a question about laxitives ; if i were taking laxitives -

-how many wud i need to take to shed water weight?

-how far in advance wud i need to take them?

-how long do the effects last?

-how much weight will i lose?

-what age do u need to be to buy them/where do u get them from?

-how long will i b on the toilet for? haha.. [be it hours/days etc etc]

i really dont know much about them atall.

im not going to abuse them. i just need them to take for that one occasion. and i know it is only water weight u lose but i think thats all il need to lose ontop of my steady weight loss. any comments with info on them would be extremely appreciated *looks innocent*. im also [dare i say it] giving up drinking! ahhh. too many empty calories.

i feel like some mk thinspo..

shes so beautiful in this pic. i love it =)

same with this one. gorgeous huh? she looks so fagile..

keep commenting & subscribing & please tell me the lowdown on laxitives, it wud be a big big help right now. love x